- Nothing seems worth living for.
- Everything seems to be meaningless.
- Feeling unhappy and sad most of the times.
- Unable to pinpoint what’s exactly wrong in life.
- Health seems to be out-of-control.
- No longer resonate or feel the connection with your spouse/partner.
- Seem to be drifting away from your loved ones.
If you have answered a “YES” to few or most statements, you mostly have hit the MLC- Mid Life Crisis. You are officially an MLCier.
What is Mid-Life Crisis?
Mid Life Crisis can occur when one realizes that nothing that they do in their lives hold any meaning any more. Their job, career, education, relationships, priorities, beliefs, everything seems questionable. The ground beneath their feet seems to be shifting.
Midlife crisis not only questions one’s fundamental about life but also shakes one’s own identity. Typically MLC hits between 45 to 60 years for men, although women face the midlife crisis sooner than men between the ages of 35 to 40.
There could be multiple reasons that could possibly trigger MLC- divorce, health concerns loss of a parent/ friend and sometimes even empty nest syndrome.
Common symptoms of MLC:
- Sense of Confusion and indecisiveness
- Anger and mood swings
- Self-questioning; sometimes questioning the decision made early in life like career choices, relationship decisions
- Discontentment in Life, consistent boredom
- Intense need for adventure and change in life
- Constant Sadness
- Significant decrease or increase in sexual desire
- Relationship outside of marriage, especially with someone younger
- Substantial increase/decrease in Ambition
People generally start feeling torn between their current lifestyle and choices versus the intense desire to a newly found way of life. The stress and pressure one feels can be unnerving and difficult to deal with.
The sense of uncertainty and the inability to move forward feels extremely overwhelming, especially when one is aware that the new change could jeopardize the complete microcosm which includes marriage, long term relationships etc.
The fact that MLC is very unsettling it is generally met with denial. Unfortunately, before one becomes cognizant of the mid life crisis, they probably would have either fallen or drifted far away in their lives.
Most psychologists believe MLC last for 3-10 years for men and between 2-5years for women. Although both gender experience MLC effects differently, yet they suffer in a few similar ways, for e.g. the unexplained anger and mood swings, change in the sexual desires, attraction towards opposite sex outside of marriage, and intense need for exploration in life.
What is Life Coaching?
Coaching has its origins in athletics, where each athlete necessarily had a dedicated coach who accurately understood the athletes potential as well as the pitfalls, and therefore customize the coaching process specific to the athlete.
Coaching process made an executive boardroom entrance, where the c-suite leaders could attain extraordinary growth both professionally and personally whilst working alongside an executive coach.
Most leaders were able leadership skills, people management capabilities as well achieving impressive results in their personal life and relationships.
Coaching as a process offers a unique opportunity to address one’s personal, professional, emotional and social goals through exploration of ideas and authentic conversation with complete a non-judgmental position.
The process include that the Coaches partner with their coachee /client to co-create a life excellence plan that the client/coachee desires, while discovering clients own talent, resources, possibilities that is aligned to his/her purpose in life.
Coaching and Mid-Life Crisis:
Firstly, it need not be a crisis; and this often-ridiculed phase needs to be dealt with empathy and care. Vulnerability and fragility are a common emotion during this phase.
Acknowledging the crisis is the first step towards change. Seeking a life coach can help you sail through these difficult times, without necessarily rocking the boat.
How could it help you?
The moment one reaches the mid-age, professional commitments and work goals, coupled with family responsibilities becomes a deterrent in spending time with close friends. This is often the time when most feel lonely with none to talk and share.
A coach can play a confidante to you, which enables emotional and intimate sharing in a complete non-judgmental way. Coaching allows one to explore the vulnerable and fragile part of self, which in turn can be empowering.
Define Career Goals:
Often people during this phase self-question the career choices and their current working conditions; and most are then tempted to make a radical shift.
A coach can guide you through the assessment process of the current job, establish and refine your career goals and support you in making an optimal career change decision.
Career coaching provides you a safe space to express how one feels and also distill the required skills you need for career progression
Women, hire a coach to help them to navigate through a challenging situation by offering a diverse lens and ideas about the job market, especially when they are getting back to work post a career break.
Re-defining relationship goals:
Coaching can helps people with their current and future goals. Most coaches use positive psychology approach to deal with all relationship problems. The coach doesn’t address the problems from the past, however are more solution and result focused with futuristic outlook.
A coach diagnoses the current issues and needs, while pointing them towards future goals to reinforce and strengthen their relationship. Many are able to offer a newer meaning to their relationship, which is both exciting and rewarding.
Being at the peak of ones career one generally pays a price for their aggressive ambition and fiery need to be successful. Generally the price is lack of family time, highly neglected relationships, and unfulfilled emotional needs.
Coaching can help one find the right balance between the time one devotes at work and the time spent with loved ones/family/friends.
The coaching process can examine the coachee’s way of spending time and co-create a plan to find time for activities that matters to the coachee, and consequently find happiness.
Mid life crisis comes with its own share of health concerns. A hectic work schedule, stringent deadlines, demanding job, all that causes toll on ones health; resulting in one wanting to make a significant change in the core aspects of day-to-day living.
The additional household demand makes it even more taxing for women. Life-Coaching can help both men and women take a positive spin at their health, supporting them in crafting a optimistic yet realistic and , actionable plans to achieve their health goals.
Building Emotional Resilience:
A mid-life crisis is also about the inner transformation. As most are unconscious about this inner shift and therefore rarely does it get tended to.
Coaching can help in exploring all those parts of oneself, that one could have lost touch with, developing a greater self-awareness and a stronger sense of inner strength. Coaching process can cultivate creativity and could possibly discover latent skills.
A coach can be a catalyst to your desired outcomes and goals, attaining them in far lesser time and much more efficiently.
Attempting sailing the choppy water of mid-life crisis without a coach could possibly mean months, or at times years of confusion and being directionless. The key here is to identify the right coach at the right time.
Working with a coach essentially means re-purposing one’s life, and finding a deep sense of security, support, and fulfillment in life.