Well it goes without a say that your child needs and deserves your love, care and support. But here’s the deal, for your child to know that they are your world, you have to prioritize your partner that is their mother first. A marriage or the relation between you and your wife is like a cradle that holds your child’s emotions and upbringing strongly. If there is instability in that cradle it will disturb your child’s emotional health. Keeping the cradle strong and peaceful ensures your child’s long-term wellbeing.
A healthy relation with your spouse is sure to protect your child’s emotions during his or her development into adulthood and prepares him or her for stable future relationships. Now one may question that why not prioritize the child over the wife?
Of course it is important to think about your child
No one is denying the fact that your child’s basic needs should always be prioritized. No one is advocating neglecting your child’s physical health or emotional need. Now there can be times when a child’s immediate needs might come first momentarily but ultimately the marriage bond has to be paramount (the cradle remember). You may tend to go way overboard after meeting the basic needs for your children (in terms of showering gadgets, holidaying, expensive restaurant tours, visit to gaming parlours etc.) but the truth is — children can thrive without latest gadgets, but they can’t thrive when their family is on shaky ground. As parents you would want to give your children a better childhood than your own. But kids need a stable home first.
Tension with your wife can lead to anxiety and depression in your children
When your children are the centre of your universe, they grow up thinking they are for real the centre of the universe. It is the tendency of over-parenting that creates a generation youngsters who are more troubled and needy. And while you only concentrate on your children, your marriage tends to suffer. Your mutual focus on the kids instead of each other is a way to avoid intimacy and the issues in their marriage. It’s like an escape from your partner, not having the same love as before, not sharing the same bond which ultimately leads to a crack in the cradle. Tension between you two will eventually take away your children’s peace of mind.
Don’t drift away from marriage while making it up to your children
Perhaps you feel you can confidently strike a balance in keeping your children and your spouse satisfied, and neither will suffer. But as children grow, responsibilities for them only increase. Spending time with them, helping them out in their school work and extracurricular activities can quickly eat up your spare moments. Plus there’s also the daily balance of work. While your day’s time goes in all of this, you end up not giving time to your spouse And over time this focus on everything except one another causes drifting and disconnect in marriage. The drifting occurs so slowly that you don’t even realise it is happening. But the day it strikes the cradle, it shatters it into pieces. Now think about it, if the cradle was holding your children’s backs all this while what will happen to them, once it’s broken?
Well we don’t intend to intimidate you but it’s more like a heads-up. The key point is to respect your partner, be foremost loving towards her, for the sake of the child that you brought into this world together. If you want a guide towards prioritizing your marriage and preventing your marital disconnect, we can guide you in choosing the right direction.
We at Cafe Counsel offer online counselling and therapy and so far we have worked with numerous clients who are now living a normal life after treatment. We are equipped with the knowledge and training to help our clients get over with this disorder. To get in touch, Write to firstname.lastname@example.org or chat with experts now.