Sooner or later, each of us will experience that dagger in the heart called grief. The experience of losing something we value or close to our heart is part of life and no one can escape from it. Loss has many layers to it – it could be a long relationship coming to an end, a loved one died, a pet that one has lost, a heart break, children leaving for abroad settlement or any other sort of transition that brings about a feeling of losing someone dear. Now when we lose something, we go through a period of grieving process. It can start with complete denial, then goes on to feelings of anger, extreme sadness or depression and then acceptance. People sometimes may not even find any interest in their daily chores. It’s like breathing for the sake of it. So, when a feeling of loss happens, learning to cope up with the situation is essential so to make sure we aren’t stuck in any of these stages and that we can move on with life. Dealing with grief isn’t easy, in fact it is quite a difficult challenge. We are here with some practices that can help people heal their wounds.
Accept the loss – Learn to bring the feelings and emotions out. Because suppressing all that inside will only harm your future well being, if they are not processed at the very beginning. All you need is people who you feel safe with. Open up your feelings like anger, sadness, loneliness and emptiness to a trustworthy friend who is a good listener or a supportive family member. They can channelize your negative emotions and can show you the blessings of your life. You can take help of a counsellor who can help you deal with the emotions. Find what works for you and get to face these feelings and deal with them.
Fill up the empty space – Losing a relationship or a person always leave an empty spot within. The closer your connection and the more intense the loss, the more profound the emptiness may feel. After a reasonable time frame or after you have accepted the loss, you have to find ways to fill up that gap. It can be in the form of an activity or building a new connection or anything that gives your life a new meaning and a positive direction. Redefining parts of your life after a loss may be needed to compensate for the empty spot.
Take care of yourself – Grief consumes a significant amount of energy. Your will to live without the dear one you have lost and ability to follow normal routines might quickly erode. To combat these problems, try to get adequate sleep, don’t starve yourself and include physical activity in your daily routine. Always remember the one who has left this world, wouldn’t have been happy to see you in such a mess. Take a walk to channelize your thoughts, make a dish that your dear one loved, take rest while thinking about good times spent with that person. All this will let you be connected to that person in some way or the other. Only grieving isn’t a way to remember lost ones.
Move forward – When you lose someone, you need to focus on modifying your relationship with him or her. You can do this by changing your relationship from an attachment to a detached way of connection. This means you can have a place for him or her in your heart but a place of peace and not pain. However, this takes time and practice, it takes an effort to modify your thoughts, so don’t force it and be patient with the process. When you get to this place, you can move forward in life without feeling like something is holding you back.
Losing a loved one is devastating. Someday, however, the sun will shine again. So keep doing things that positively impact others, engage in meaningful activities, make time for your self-reflection and start to enjoy simple things in life.