How to Develop Emotional Agility in Children

❝But pain’s like water. It finds a way to push through any seal. There’s no way to stop it. Sometimes you have to let yourself sink inside of it before you can learn how to swim to the surface.” – Katie Kacvinsky

Children are full of emotions, which affect their well-being a lot more than adults. Circumstantially,  a lot of parents face a problem in understanding their children’s thought processes. For example, if you are receiving complaints from the teacher as to your child’s behavior in class, what should you do?

Researches have proven that when teachers help preschoolers learn and analyze their feelings, these children grow up to be remarkable problem-solvers and engage themselves to learning tasks and seeking knowledge. Henceforth, the basic aim is to ensure a child to be able to stabilize emotions and have a confident-filled self-esteem whilst facing problematic situations.  As a parent, you should talk to your kid and explain to him/her – the whole situation just as you see it & the way out – in the most tender way possible.

Emotional Skills are a bedrock of qualities, like pliancy and compliance. And so, helping a child feel happy when you see him/her shed a tear – offers an immediate relief but creates emotional dependency and egging expectations in the long term. How children helm their emotional world is critical to lifelong success and inner growth.

Emotional Agility is the operandi which enables an individual to navigate and analyze phases and circumstances in life with self-acceptance, an open mind and a liberal thinking. This process focuses on facing and accepting negative emotions and thoughts courageously and growing past them.

Four Key Hacks to Emotional Agility :


(1)    Step Out

Observing your thoughts and emotions, barring your external environment, to a place where you get a better view and calmness – and realizing why you need to pull yourself out and stand up for yourself.

(2)    Know Yourself
Introspection is the most primary feature in an individual’s life. You need to know yourself before taking an action and to understand that each action by you represents you as a person, regardless of circumstances and situations. You should be aware of your values, ethics, etiquettes and norms in life, keeping the formulation of the society as a major parallel.

(3)    Move On
The main conviction is to seek balance between competence and challenge, and to maintain a stable mindset during the process of acceptance. Our emotions overrule our values in such dilemmas, which is why we tend to take the wrong decisions just in the curiosity of a result hard-earned through a difficult choice whilst we should make choices according to our convenience and within the boundaries of general morality.

(4)    Face It
Do not run away from problems and situations that come your way. You can avoid a situation in the present, but then you should be aware that the problem will arise sooner or later. Instead of avoiding difficult thoughts and emotions as well, face your thoughts and behaviors, and avoid over-emphasizing “positive thinking” if it does satisfy your gut feeling or gives you satisfaction.

As Children get older, it gets convenient to talk about their feelings to them – provided we have a liberal thinking. Just as we can be excited a second and anxious the next, we need to understand while dealing with another individual.
As a parent, you should help your child plan on how to divert his/her mind in an emotionally traumatic situation or how to not run away from serious dilemmas. One should situations to preach and question, “What would be your take at such a time?” Children feel stronger as they begin to realize that it’s not how they feel that counts – it is how they react that does & speaks a lot about them.

Do you know that Societal Stereotypes can also push down emotions, manipulate thought processes and increase aggressiveness? Expressions like “Boys don’t cry” make a taboo among children and a show-of-emotions which are not real and morally acceptable. A boy is asked to suppress sympathy and affection in a situation which, during his growing years, gives him the idea that it is socially acceptable for him to hurt people and not feel sorry about it. Similarly, another expression of stereotyping women’s life revolving around only the house/kitchen affects acceptance of career-choices for a large number of women in our society.

So, as a parent one should ensure that there is clarity of thoughts, feelings & emotions and that their child is able to tackle situations of all kind with smartness and by being wise i.e. with Emotional Agility.

If you’re observing extreme change in the attitude of your child, compulsive behavior, difficulty in making small decisions or dependency on other people (emotional or otherwise), you should consider seeking professional help. We can help you through our Parent-Child Relationship counseling services. To know more write to, connect@cafecounsel.com or chat with experts now.

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Cafe Counsel blogs and articles are composed of a great deal of research and care. Our dedicated team of highly qualified and experienced expert counselors curates each blog to keep it informative yet very practical. We would be very happy to hear from you on our blogs. Write to us at connect@cafecounsel.com. Do consider subscribing to our blogs, so we can send the informative articles and blogs to your inbox. Team Café Counsel #whereyoumatter
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